Have you ever noticed that once you’re pregnant, people think it’s okay to talk about your appearance in a different way? Suddenly ‘massive, huge, fat’ etc are now acceptable words to use as a compliment? I personally don’t like being called massive whether there’s a baby in my belly or not. I know I’m a very offensive person, but I can’t help but feel insulted. It’s come to the point where I’ve considered lying about how far along in my pregnancy I am, to avoid criticism from strangers.
Apparently body shaming is acceptable if you’re pregnant. No normal person likes to be called huge. Pregnant or not, huge is not a compliment. If you want to comment on someone’s pregnancy; ask about their experience rather than their appearance. Ask them about their pregnancy and how their feeling rather than fixating on their image.
For a while now I’ve been hoping this blog wouldn’t be necessary to write, but unfortunately it is. This blog is called ‘what NOT to say to pregnant woman’ and it includes a YAY and NAY list on how to compliment a pregnant friend, family member or stranger. You’re welcome!
YAY vs NAY list.
If you have nothing nice to day, Don’t say anything at all.
These comments are all ones I have received personally or that my friends have experienced in their pregnancies. This list is down right disgusting. What happened to decency and respect? What happened to manners and the saying ‘If you cant be kind be quiet’ go? Why does this not apply to pregnant woman? Why do people feel the need to say such unfiltered remarks and why does everyone become so fixated on appearance? Are we not more than that!? Are our feelings not valid?
I honestly thought this list would be common knowledge, especially from people who have been pregnant themselves. But I’m 6 months into my second pregnancy and realising it isn’t. Pregnancy doesn’t give you the right to comment on someone’s weight, age or intentions. These comments are usually made out to be ‘compliments’ but we all know pretty damn well its just insulting. We are baby making machines, try commenting on how fucking incredible our bodies are!
We notice our bodies are changing, we notice it more than you. We realise that growing a baby for 9 long months is going to create noticeable ‘changes’. We notice the saggy boobs, weight gain, stretch marks, wide hips, skin changes and every other little change that comes with pregnancy. Our bodies are working hard to grow a baby and that’s a beautiful thing, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. It can be disheartening watching these body changes along with experiencing sickness, exhaustion, mood swings and crazy ass hormones and we don’t need people telling us they notice it too. If anything we need a confidence boost, so please feel free to tell a pregnant mama just how fine she’s looking today!
So whether it’s a friend, family or stranger that’s pregnant. Be kind to the preggo’s. We are human. We have feelings. We are more than our bodies. We don’t comment on your weight when we see you, so please don’t ‘compliment’ us on ours.
Kind regards, This pregnant mama who doesn’t need to be told I’m fat.